tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6510624476585230434.post163533095607280552..comments2024-02-11T08:56:42.753+00:00Comments on It's Not A Zero Sum Game: In all the excitement about victim blaming, good old-fashioned rapist blaming is a sadly declining activityMarina Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14449789093721258516noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6510624476585230434.post-59296442377872145812015-03-10T22:28:15.678+00:002015-03-10T22:28:15.678+00:00I'm so sorry that this happened to you. It'...I'm so sorry that this happened to you. It's heartbreaking, and the disbelief and victim blaming just compound the trauma. It's all terrible, and I can only hope that you have been able to heal and find strength. MMarina Shttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14449789093721258516noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6510624476585230434.post-43403396912756066642015-03-10T19:31:39.634+00:002015-03-10T19:31:39.634+00:00This is an old post but since the r-word is "...This is an old post but since the r-word is "totes popular!" on the internet and the media loves a good "Why drunk sluts deserve to be raped!" article (I'm looking at you Guardian and Daily Mail), it brings up an important point. I was raped by a total stranger who literally got up from having lunch with his girlfriend in a crowded restaurant, raped me in the men's bathroom, then calmly walked back to his table and told his gf that he had "helped a girl who was sick in the bathroom". <br /><br />It took me several hours to even really recover from the shock (you would think I would have ran out of the restroom screaming "that guy is a rapist!" but I actually was shock mute for almost 18 hours after the event). I literally couldn't speak. All that came out when I opened my mouth were these strange sounding cries. Shock does weird things to people and that is why I often get mad at rape apologists (male and female) - who expect people in shock to behave totally rationally after being assaulted and to be able to clearly articulate everything when extremely upset. I wish I could have screamed at the whole restaurant that that guy was a rapist, but nothing would come out. <br /><br />When I reported the crime the next day, the police informed me that the rapist's lawyer had PREEMPTIVELY called them and was claiming that I was a prostitute and that it was consensual. I was a 19 year old college student who was raised in a strict home and who barely knew what a prostitute was, yet the police were happy to believe the rapists story (in retrospect I think the rapist may have known the police or someone else in the system because it didn't make sense that they would believe a dude that showed up and said "Some whore is going to claim I raped her, but it's a lie" BEFORE the actual rape victim even shows up to report the crime!). Still, rather than actually bothering to find out whether I was a college student or "streetwalker", the DA just refused to prosecute. So they just let the predator go because by saying it was consensual he would force a court case and they don't want to waste the money. In many US cities the DA "declines to prosecute over 75% of rape cases - something I didn't know until recently which made me feel better about my own case and that it wasn't just me that gets shafted by the "injustice system". <br /><br />At any rate, my point is that guy WAS/IS a serial rapist. I have NO DOUBT he raped other people and probably several. Anyone capable of raping a stranger in the middle of the day while sitting at a table with their girlfriend (I'm sure she was happy to find out that her boyfriend raped a stranger in the bathroom while waiting for their meal) is someone who will rape again and again if they think they can get away with it. I don't understand why the justice system favors rapists at the expense of victims, but people blaming rape victims are just piling on the hate. Thanks for posting, and I appreciate your sympathetic and non-exploitative stance on this issue. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6510624476585230434.post-6554762319752878412010-04-03T17:50:26.449+01:002010-04-03T17:50:26.449+01:00interesting post - I read Julie Bindel's artic...interesting post - I read Julie Bindel's article on it, which I guess you saw: http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/feb/19/blame-the-rapist<br /><br />Women blame themselves too much... for everything. I read recently that Cheryl Cole was blaming herself for her husband's infidelity. The same phenomenon?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6510624476585230434.post-10895679963482191252010-02-26T07:55:43.712+00:002010-02-26T07:55:43.712+00:00Great post! Seems exactly right to me..Great post! Seems exactly right to me..Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com